2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG 4Matic

Of horseshoes, hand grenades, and AMGs.

"Almost" rarely feels this good. The 49ers almost turned Super Bowl XLVII around. Commissioner Gordon almost saved Batman's girlfriend. The 2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG in its up-level S-Model versions offers 577 horsepower, which is almost an even 600. Anybody who can't live without those 23 missing horses should be forced to turn in their guns. With 590 pound-feet of torque also testing the traction limits on all four tires, it's hard to feel anything in this car but a giddy sense of awe.

2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG 4Matic

That's right, four tires. To route those 590 pound-feet to just the rear 285/30ZR- 19s might not only test their grip, but also the boundaries of good sense. So to keep this 577-hp executive hauler halfway sensible, four-wheel drive is now standard, and the car gets 4MATIC appended to its name. Here, the system defaults to a 33/67-percent front/rear torque split, although it can send a maximum of 70 percent to either end. It weighs about 15o pounds, on par with what Quattro adds to an Audi A6 and xDrive to a BMW 5-series.

Ensuring a lifetime of punishment for the 4MATIC system is AMG's twin-turbo 5.5-liter V-8. From last year's 518 horse- power and 516 pound-feet, engine-management tweaks help bump output to 550 horses and 531 pound-feet for the standard AMG E-class. Mercedes used to offer a $7,300 E63 performance package that increased output. Now it offers a separate, roughly $8,000 pricier AMG S model, with boost increased from 13.0 psi to 14.5. While a limited-slip differential should be standard on the E63, one was only deemed necessary to handle the S's extra 59 pound-feet- or to handle customers more comfortable with a limited-slip on their spec sheet. Sedan buyers can choose between the AMG and AMG S, but perhaps sensing that its wagon buyers are enlightened lunatics, Mercedes will offer the wagon only with the higher output.

Ensuring a lifetime of punishment for the 4MATIC system is AMG's twin-turbo 5.5-liter V-8.

Both engines hit their torque mesas early-1750 rpm for the AMG and 2000 for the S. And remember how the car now has four-wheel drive? Our educated guess predicts the S will bolt from zero to 60 mph in just 3.3 seconds and complete a quarter-mile blitzkrieg in just 11.8, and that the involuntary grunting that accompanies full-throttle acceleration is equivalent to three sit-ups per launch. Oof!

Anybody who can't live without those 23 missing horses should be forced to turn in their guns.

If you're shifting manually, your reflexes had better be quick. Fail to grab the next gear the millisecond the Tach flashes an angry red, and the 5.5's headlong rush for rpm ends abruptly at the rev limiter. Even in the upper gears, the engine's pull from low rpm very quickly produces illicit velocity.

With its hefty rear torque bias, the 4MATIC system mostly stays out of the way in corners, except when it's yanking the car out of particularly tight ones. It doesn't corrupt the steering noticeably. Computer programming automatically brakes the inner rear wheel on turn-in, which helps the car to feel remarkably nimble. Over-steer is still an option, but now requires significantly greater commitment from the driver to induce. Even in the most relaxed of its three modes, the well-tuned suspension never feels too soft when pushed or too hard over bumps.

Fail to grab the next gear the millisecond the Tach flashes an angry red, and the 5.5's headlong rush for rpm ends abruptly at the rev limiter.

Should they overlook the 4MATIC badge now adorning your trunk lid or rear hatch, your neighbors will still be able to identify the 2014 E63. Its nose, more organically sculpted now, better suits something with this sort of animal fury, and new rear- door skins with resculpted creases provide a cleaner appearance. It almost clashes with the curvaceous nose, but, as this car proves, there's absolutely nothing wrong with almost.