BMW 728i - The First Generation 7-Series Sedan

Problems: bonnet requires a four-stage opening process; paintwork Dicky; slight thirst for coolant; nearside door speaker dead. There has also been an incident, resulting in a split nearside front wheel arch liner. I blame the UK’s badly maintained roads, poor drainage and unseasonably inclement weather.

BMW 728i

On the school run, there’s a narrow road where I was forced into a large puddle. It caught the Shed on the nearside with a splash and a thud. I thought no more of it, until I used full lock and noticed a rubbing sound.

The wheel arch liner had lost one retaining screw and had been ripped away from the other, leaving a big tear. First of all, I planned to take it off and bond the whole thing back together with fiberglass, but that was too much bother. Jacking up the car gave me enough room to effect a repair without even having to take the wheel off. And in keeping with the principles of Bangernomics, rather than buying bits, I looked at what I had lying around. This led to some proper, old-school bodging.

A large tube of exterior-grade, water-resistant grab adhesive, some fiberglass fly screen material and some gaffer tape patched up the hole and held everything in place. The finishing touch was a tin of roofing mastic. It was so old and thick that I used a trowel instead of a brush. I don’t know how long this quick and cheap fix will last; perhaps I should have bought a replacement liner.

BMW 728i interior

This minor drama aside, I still top up the coolant weekly. Opening the bonnet is a palaver (pull handle inside car, then pull handle at kidney grille, and repeat) and the dead speaker might have to be replaced.

A member of the unofficial Autocar E38 appreciation society has just bought a donor Seven for $525 to keep for those days when you go through a puddle a bit too quickly. Maybe I should do the same.

BMW 728i