Cadillac's CTS sets itself apart by doubling down on sport.
Behind the rural gas station that serves as Car and
Driver's pork-cracklin's-and-beer depot during Southern Ohio comparison
tests squats small, unadorned cinder-block structure slathered in white paint.
Somehow, we'd never noticed this building on previous trips. It has a central
glass door flanked by two small windows. All of the glass is blacked out. A
handwritten sign taped to the door indicated that the establishment was open
and warned that alcoholic beverages and smoking are not allowed.
A less-opulent CTS
with the same engine can be had for about $55,000
Because we are pure of heart, we naturally assumed this was
some sort of sex shop for locals who hadn't yet discovered the internet. Or
maybe it was the clubhouse of a Satan-worshipping sewing bee. Or could it be an
NSA outpost posing as the clubhouse of a Satan-worshipping sewing bee? So, with
sunflower seeds and Twizzlers in hand, we pushed open the door. Now, I want you
to imagine the scene in Animal House where the guys enter the Dexter
Lake Club with their dates and there's a moment of stunned silence from
everyone. It was like that, only there was no Otis Day and the Knights or
dancing couples. There were instead about 12 eyes staring at us in a way not
unlike those of a raccoon you've discovered digging through your trash can
behind the garage. And the only light in this one-room structure, other than
the Tuesday-afternoon sun now streaming in through the door, came from
video-gaming machines that lines the walls to our left and right. Eventually,
the dude standing on a small platform at the back of the room called out,
"Well, hey, guys! Come on in." The gamblers turned back to their
machines.
"Oh, well...uh...we've got to go do the
...thing...with, uh...thanks."
We opted for an A6
with its mid-level engine option, the 310-hp, supercharged 3.0-liter V-6
What does this reveal about the state of the
mid-size-luxury-sedan market? Or the probability that the Cadillac CTS, now in
its third generation, can compete in a straight-up fight with the German sedans
that inspired it? Not much, except that if you want to afford one of these four
vehicles (with an average as-tested price of $65,228), you're probably going to
want to stay out of cinder-block buildings behind gas stations.
We hopped in our Radiant Silver 2014 CTS (with sassy
polished 18-inch wheels) and blasted back into the Hocking Hills, where we
would reconvene with the rest of our group. They were busy trying to figure out
how far an average adult-male human would have to walk to be equivalent to a
one-inch caterpillar (named Aaron) moving 11 feet.
Here were parked our contenders. Our rear-wheel-drive CTS
received motivation from the mild-level engine choice, a 321-hp 3.6-liter
naturally aspirated V-6. It's the slightly up-powered version of the 3.6
familiar from the previous CTS. Our test car wore Premium-level trim, which
brings a huge load of both useful and frivolous features, such that it
stickered for $67,075. A less-opulent CTS with the same engine can be had for
about $55,000.
Next is the model
that was once the ultimate bogey for Cadillac: the BMW 5-series
