Alpine D5 Biturbo - The Lackluster Performance

Full marks for a franchise dealer wheel refurb, but not for the stereo

Our local BMW/Alpina dealer, Cooper Thames Ditton in Surrey, has worked its magic on our Alpina D5’s damaged alloy wheels, returning them to factory fresh condition at a cost of $182 per wheel.

Alpine D5 Biturbo

That sounds expensive. The usual price for a franchise dealer alloy refurb is about $150 per wheel and independents will do it for between $75 to $135 but the complicated turbine design of the signature Alpina alloys results in extra cost.

Now that the wheels are done, it seems a price worth paying. Cooper’s in-house service was as good as it gets, with prompt attention and flawless results, while a tire tread check at the same time indicated plenty of life left in all four tires. As with all specialist performance cars, the cost of most things is a bit higher and the non-run lat Michelin Pilot Super sport 285/30 ZR20 tires, which were developed for Ferrari and Porsche, are a good example. They cost about $630 for a replacement rear from a main dealer, or around $525 from a tire specialist.

Thankfully, the tires are exception and the D5 shares the vast majority of its components with the BMW 535d, which means that costs are unlikely to stray into M5 or AMG territory, and all servicing can be carried out by a regular NMW dealership.

The D5 has established itself as a true GT on the Autocar fleet, winning the coveted ‘Best for long-distance touring’ award no less in our end-of-year long-termer round-up.

Initial questions over its focus as a performance car have also been forgotten as the breadth of its abilities have emerged. With this in mind, we asked our resident audio expert, Andy Madden of sister magazine What Hi-Fi? Sound and Vision, to test its music system. Our Alpina has the upgraded ‘Professional’ speakers and the DAB radio upgrade, both selected to enhance listening pleasure on long journeys.

The good news is the operation of the system, particularly the big screen and iDrive, which is unrecognizable from BMW’s first attempt at a rotary control function, and the ‘smooth and safe’ sound. However, Andy was less impressed with the lack of clarity and detail. “Vocals sound muffled and closed-in, like the singer’s stuck inside the dashboard,” he reckoned. “Bass notes sound tubby and ill-defined, which makes for a slovenly, sluggish and unexciting sound.” The What Hi-Fi? verdict: two to three stars out of five. Oh dear – not what you’d expect from a $96,000 car.

Perhaps in anticipation of the lackluster performance, Alpina has gone to considerable effort to tune the exhaust note, reducing silencer volumes to create a more exciting noise than any diesel we’ve tested with eight or fewer cylinders. Who needs Radio 1 anyway?