Vauxhall Astra VXR - A More Extreme Version Of The GTC

Time’s up. Fun’s over. Even if it wasn’t already a year and 14,000 miles since we look on the long-term Vauxhall Astra VXR, its departure would still be overdue. Because the biggest cliché in Motordom has come home to roost. The first Saunders family offspring has sprung. If the VXR was actually mine, the classified ad might read: “For sale: one regularly exercised, year-old 276bhp Vauxhall hot hatchback. Recently serviced. New gearbox. Priced for quick sale. Will consider similarly powerful people carrier in exchange. Provided it’s got lsofix. And Recaros. And s slippy diff.”

Vauxhall Astra VXR front

Like so many parents-to-be before they learn that their lives are about to change. I’ve had an amusing year. There have been track sessions and road trips and a lot more besides. But for the past couple of months there’s mostly been a boot full of baby paraphernalia and plenty of restraint with the right foot. The latter, in any Vauxhall VXR, feels just plain wrong.

So how it’s all gone? The Astra was never wrapped in cotton wool not even when brand new. After shrugging off the performance tests bound up in the road test, the VXR’s first social appointment was the Isle of Wight Festival 2012. Yes, the one with all the mud, the traffic queues and the car ferries circling in the Solent all night.

We got off lightly: just the 14-hour traffic jam, followed by the ignominy of a tractor tow into a muddy field for the weekend. Three days later we needed another tow out. Thankfully, the Astra’s cloying mud, and all that was needed to restore the car was a good hosing down.

After that initial trauma, the first few months on fleet seemed like easy meat for the car. It was driven by everyone and approved of by most, who appreciated the same things we praised in that initial road test: gutsy performance, involving (if slightly rough-hewn) handling, handsome looks and surprising civility compared with the previous Astra VXR.

Vauxhall Astra VXR side

Then came a three-way comparison test with two close rivals: the Ford Focus ST and Volkswagen Golf R. In the final reckoning it finished above neither, but brought credibility to the VXR brand by mixing the usual indomitable spirit with newfound dynamic focus and finesse. As perceptions go, it was a case of finishing third rather than coming last.

But as time passed and the novelty of blasting around in a 276bhp Astra began to fade, so – inevitably came some cooling off. As an ownership proposition, the car wore well; a duff ambient cabin light was the biggest reliability problem we had. But I began simmering quietly, wondering why with more power to call on an a limited-slip differential – the car hadn’t improved on the standing-start acceleration of the previous hot Astra when we road tested it. To the hot hatch crowd, after all, 0-60mph matters.

Vauxhall Astra VXR interior

As winter arrived, plunging grip levels made it obvious that tires might be partly to blame. So, even though they were only part-worn, off came Vauxhall’s standard Pirellis and on went a set of Toyo Proxes T1 Sports to fit the optional 20in rims. The improvement was plain; the Astra instantly had a quieter secondary ride, more steering feedback, better traction and more lateral grip. Note to owners here:  don’t be afraid to experiment with your rubber.

As soon as the temperature was high enough, I made another appointment with the road test timing gear, hoping for a big improvement on our 6.4sec 0-60mph time. Instead, I was reminded how easy it is to overheat the VXR’s clutch and transmission, and how difficult it is to balance turbo response against wheel spin and get the car away perfectly. An improvement came in the end, but it wasn’t huge: 6.1sec, on unofficial Toyos, on a different surface from that of the road test. That’s quicker than the previous car, but still well off Vauxhall’s 5.9sec-to-62nph claim.

Which brings us back to the same problem that the VXR brand has always had: that while all of the cars under its banner talk the talk, in some cases they don’t quite walk the walk. The Astra’s an illuminating case in point, because it’s got all the ingredients of a truly focused hot hatchback, but it still doesn’t grip, perform or thrill like a Renault Mégane RS 265 or a Focus ST can.

So why not? A conversation with one VXR-brand insider shed some light on the subject a year ago, when Vauxhall launched the car to the press. It all comes down to maturity. “VXR buyers want lots of power at a decent price,” he said. “They’re not Focus RS or Renaultsport Me1gane clientele.” He went on to suggest that OPC and VXR know they’re not taken seriously as a true alternative to those brands and don’t expect that to change any time soon.

Vauxhall Astra VXR inside

That sounds like a philosophy that’ll see VXRs finishing third in group test for some time. Because if Vauxhall and Opel don’t class their junior performance cars as genuine alternatives to the best fast front-drivers, we’re not likely to, either and neither is the customer. It also specifically explains why the Astra VXR can have the same Drexler mechanical limited-slip differential as the Corsa VXR Nurburgring and yet fail to benefit as much from it. The lock-up setting is evidently tamer on the Astra, for fear of scaring off a broader customer base.

You can imagine how Vauxhall will answer all of this. There’s bound to be an Astra VXR Nurburgring in the pipeline, designed to compensate for the regular VXR’s slight lack of piquancy and to release its full potential. That should be a pretty serious car. But when Ford leaves room for an RS model, it never seems to take the edge off the corresponding ST. And a Me1gane RS never feels like a half-measure – regardless of what Renaultsport is keeping up its sleeve.

Anyway, enough complaining. It’s painting a disproportionately dim picture of a year that I’ve enjoyed a great deal. This may not be our class favorite, but if offers a lot. What’s more, I’d say there’s a way for Vauxhall to increase the appeal of the Astra VXR, whether or not it actually makes it any more of a serious threat to its rivals as a true driver’s car.

Ostentatious charm can count for plenty in a sporting option. It’s something the Astra already has more of than your average affordable hot hatch, and could easily create in even greater quantity – with a more bombastic exhaust note, a louder color palette, a more special interior and really outstanding straight-line performance.

Vauxhall Astra VXR back

The recent resurgence of TVR made me realize that there really is no equivalent to a Griffith or Tuscan for hot hatch buyers – something big on speed, noise and esoteric character that makes up for in sheer excitement what it lacks in quality or sophistication.

For my money, if not a proper RS rival, that’s exactly what the Astra VXR needs to be: not so much the Golf GTI tribute act as the raucous, flamboyant antithesis of it. In some ways, you could say the current car is more outlandish than the previous one, but in others perhaps it’s still not quite mad enough.